April 15, 2024
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Out of the Narrow Places: Nissan 5780

– בניסן נגאלו; בניסן עתידין ליגאל

Nissan is the month of redemption, past and future (See RH 11a); the month where at the seder we must each “see [her]self as if [s]he left Egypt,” per the Haggadah. To leave Egypt we have to see ourselves as in Egypt, however. And that task has for many become increasingly difficult as we live with communal prosperity and freedom-from-oppression that many of our ancestors could never have imagined. Every year we read about how to truly experience slavery and redemption when our ordinary lives look like neither. 

One approach sees “Egypt” as not only a specific place, but a more universal experience. Chassidic commentators (see, e.g., Sfas Emes on Pesach, 1870) connect Mitzrayim (Egypt), to places of narrowness (metzarim). Yetziat Mitzraym, leaving Egypt, includes being extricated from a place of narrowness, constriction, or pressure, to a place of openness and space to breathe.

In years past I have sought out the “narrow” places in my own life – places of external pressure or psychological distress, and tried to discover what it would mean to be redeemed from them. (In the pre-Pesach rush, I rarely succeed.) But this year is different.

So many of us have narrowed our worlds — staying home, away from school, work, shopping, transit or all the other places we used to meet people without even realizing we were meeting people. What is left is a stripped-down version of our lives, stripped of normal routines, of in-person interactions with friends, colleagues, or extended family. And it seems likely that this stripped-down, narrow existence will continue through Pesach. So we can relate to the constriction, the metzarim. How do we relate to the geulah, the opening that is supposed to come after?

While sometimes we need to allegorize our “slavery” in order to experience redemption, this year the constriction is real, but the release needs to be spiritual.

The Sfas Emes (id) wonders about the question of the chacham, the wise child, who asks “מה העדות והחוקים והמשפטים אשר ציווה ה’ אלוקינו אתכם” (“What mean the decrees, laws, and rules that the Lord our God has enjoined upon you?” (Devarim 6:20)). How can a wise child ask about the reason (טעם/ta’am) for a “chok,” a law that is traditionally understood to be inscrutable? The Sfas Emes answers that by accepting laws without understanding them, we can actually come to understand a reason, a ta’am. The Pesach food that exemplifies this, he says, is matzah. Matzah has no taste (ta’am), we think, but if we isolate it by removing other foods, and eat it, we can experience it’s ta’am. Eating matzah is like accepting a chok, a rule that we do not fully understand. If we do it, fully, we will find meaning/taste in it.

This year, as many of us prepare for a stripped-down Pesach in our narrowed-down lives, perhaps the message of matzah can guide us. If we accept this minimalized existence for what it is, we can find meaning in what remains: the basic building blocks of our lives and our families. Stripped of a lot of pomp and circumstance, we are left with the subtle taste of the matzah. The basics are where we will find, and make, meaning.

!חג שמח וכשר


Miriam Gedwiser, Esq. is a member of the faculty, Ramaz Upper School and Drisha.

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