March 29, 2024
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Leisure in Israel: A Contradiction in Terms

In honor Of Obama’s visit to Israel, a local Modiin newspaper was writing a story on “American phenomena” in Modiin. I was called by the reporter who wanted to interview me about our “book club.” I was surprised she considered a book club an American phenomenon, but she was certain that there was no Israeli equivalent.

Book clubs fall into the leisure time activity category, so I should not be surprised that they don’t exist in Israel. Middle-aged religious Israelis, the population with which I am most familiar, simply don’t have much time for reading a book, and even less time to commit to meeting up with others to discuss it. Sadly, they don’t have time for much beyond their jobs and familial responsibilities.

Since moving to Israel 3½ years ago, I have been saddened by so many things lacking in Israeli life—Adult Torah learning, parental involvement in their children’s’ lives and schools, communal service, making time for family chesed outings, cultural curiosity and exposure to theater, music, museums . . . I am saddened because I miss them; I am saddened because I want my children to enjoy these activities the way I did as a child and as an adult; and I am saddened because I worry how it will reflect on the development and richness of Israeli society for future generations.

I use the word saddened intentionally. I used to be angry and condescending, but the closer I understand the day-to-day life of Israelis, the blame subsides and the empathy sets in. Five days a week, men and women leave the house by 7:30, having packed up all the kids, their books, and their aruchat eser. They drop off their children at their various ganim and schools and rush to work. By 4:30 they are racing back to pick up their children who have been in some afternoon daycare program or home alone or hanging with friends for a few hours. Then they feed their children a light dinner and carpool them to their afterschool chugim/sport activities, where they don’t have time to stay and watch and cheer but race back to try to help with some homework and parent-child bonding. Their day off, Friday, is spent shopping, cooking, cleaning and trying to catch a breakfast with their spouse during the four hours their kids are in school. They also try to fit in their visits to their parents and cousins on their sacred day of Erev Shabbat.

When should they learn? While folding laundry at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday night? When should they take their kids to the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, on their precious day off of Erev Chag? Or on Chol Hamoed, when the whole country is on vacation so roads and sites are packed? A trip to a soup kitchen, when their own soup is on the stove simmering? Having a two-parent working society with a religious calendar, with costs and obligations added to the mix, robs dati Israelis of a second to breathe.

(Obviously, when the children age and the carpools dwindle, there is some ease on parental life. I wish I could say that these Israelis will enjoy the empty nest years and be able to relax a bit then, take in the world, give to others. . . but with post-high school education only beginning at 21, early marriages and trips to India as the post-army options, Israeli parents bear the economic burdens of parenting for many years. Then add the grandparent babysitting obligation to the mix. No rest for the weary.)

The obvious answer is Sunday—a day to slow down a bit, to catch up, to get things done, to enjoy, to get together, to exercise, to watch soccer, to barbecue, to visit grandparents, to do laundry or cook for the week ahead, to learn, to read, to hike, to play, to just veg. Many have tried, and will continue to try, to introduce Sunday into the Israeli economy. And I do hope that will succeed. But my immediate goal is simply to have you appreciate what you have.

The next time you are moaning about your birthday parties, leagues and wedding schedules, remember that my kids are packing their school bags on Saturday night!

By Jordana Schoor

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