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Monday, September 23, 2019

Thank the Lord Almighty it feels like spring. I heard the birds this morning and they weren’t chirping, they were actually shouting, “Holy Cow kids, we aren’t going to freeze our wings off today!” That is what they were screaming. I am not even making that up…it has just been that kind of winter. I saw grass and almost forgot what it was and had taken my shovel out. Grass, actual green, guess I should have taken better care of it last season; grass, a seasonal miracle.

Off to the garden center, I am going to go to pick up my perennials and annuals to spruce up my garden. All of those bright colors make me so happy. It’s time to start planting my crop of cucumbers and tomatoes, peppers and baby watermelon. Really? Did you believe that? Have you just met me? I am the sarcastic one who refers to my family numerically because I can no longer remember anyone’s name because they are all the same size (and because I have read the book Still Alice and think I am on the fast train to dementia). Though, I do have fond memories of helping my mom plant in her garden; and then observing its predictable demise just a few short weeks later. Those silly wabbits…turns out they like eating all of those vegetables that we so meticulously planted.

There is no denying that the season has begun its change to one that promotes sanity instead of insanity. To one where when you open the door in the morning to send the kids off to school you don’t come back into the house with a frozen nose, when walking to get the morning paper doesn’t feel like torture, and when you look around you, it doesn’t look like you took a trip to the North Pole without having ever gone on a plane, or a sled. Spring. A time of renewal. A time of beauty. A time of, oh wait, it’s time to go and clean my house because Passover is coming. The trees, grass, beautiful scents of blooming flowers will just have to wait a few weeks. That’s a shame.

Spring cleaning does make a great deal of sense, especially after a winter like this one. I am betting that I will be finding boxes’ worth of wadded-up cookie wrappers and tissues behind, inside, and underneath the couch. This is because the adorable residents of said couch have spent way too much time on it over these past few months and it takes its toll. When cleaning out the cupboards (when did I become Old Mother Hubbard?) I will find way too many packages of hot cocoa that I purchased thinking my family would suddenly start liking hot cocoa. They did not. I hope it doesn’t expire.

After the couch and the kitchen, it is time to start going through the clothes and the closets. When you have children who are still growing, this is always a challenge. In terms of pants, how short is too short? I am talking about boys pants, as I, as most of you know, have no girls. Can boys wear pants that are above their ankles if we just bought them six weeks ago? Please? Fashion Police? Anyone? What if they wear those really nice sox with the cool patterns on them? No? Not a chance? That’s what I thought…And what if you have adults that are still growing because they have been eating too much? How tight is too tight? Who am I kidding, I only own elastic. When that gets too tight, then we will have a real problem (as opposed to the problem we have now of only fitting into clothes with elastic).

Yes, I admit that I am a professional organizer’s worst nightmare. I once had one over for a meal and I was so nervous that she would randomly inspect my closets that I was organizing and cleaning for weeks. It was very stressful. But this spring cleaning session, I will take day by day with a positive attitude. If it took this long for the cold, rotten weather to make itself disappear, the least I could do is take spring seriously and clean to the best of my ability. Here’s hoping you don’t find anything that has decided to hibernate in your warm house over the winter…

Banji Ganchrow is a self-proclaimed writer who is hoping to find her youthful glow while she is cleaning her basement.

By Banji Latkin Ganchrow