“Love your neighbor as yourself” is a biblical source for the important skill of empathy. “The key to success in relating to others and to all prosocial behavior is empathy,” asserts Dr. Aliza Frohlich, Director of Guidance at Yavneh Academy Middle School. “Our entire Advisory program is geared to molding young adults who are menschen who care about and feel for others. We ask our students to think about what they can do to improve the lives of those around them.”
Advisory is a weekly social/emotional class experienced by every Yavneh Middle School student. In these classes, through interactive and dynamic lessons, students are able to acquire essential life skills. Students then have the ability to put those skills into practice.
Approximately a month ago, the students embarked on a new unit in Advisory called Operation Respect. The goal of this unit was to inculcate skills of empathy through developing a relationship with a homeless shelter in Hackensack, The Bergen County Housing, Health and Human Services Center. A representative of the center spoke to the students and launched the unit of weekly training sessions regarding the steps needed for empathy, what it means to be homeless, what types of people become homeless, and what they can do to make a difference. The students were highly engaged in these sessions, realizing that they were integral to their truly understanding what homelessness was all about. While this training was going on, the students were collecting hats, gloves, and scarves to give to the residents at the shelter.
The 7th graders had the opportunity to visit the shelter and deliver the baskets personally. The students were prepared for what the experience would be like and how to interact with the residents. They tentatively walked off the buses, simultaneously feeling excited and nervous. Mrs. Julia Orlando, director of the shelter told students that more important than the guests receiving the hats, gloves, and scarves was the feeling that someone actually cared enough to have a conversation with them. She also gave students the opportunity to ask questions. During this time of the year, when they have no homes and many have no family, many of the shelter’s residents have no hope. The Yavneh students restored some of that hope. Ms. Orlando shared, “The guests here at the Center look forward to the Yavneh visit each year. The children bring much needed items, but more importantly they bring with them care and compassion and a human connection.”
Moments later, when the students entered the room and saw the “guests” they went into action. The students had split into groups of two-to-three students and each group approached one of the guests, handed him/her a warmth package and began to converse. They had previously discussed some possible topics of conversation, and the students confidently asked guests, “What sports teams do you root for?” “What’s the last movie you’ve seen?” or “Where did you grow up?”
It was incredible to how touched the residents were. As Rabbi Sam Frankel, one of our teachers said, “The trip to the homeless shelter was a major Kiddush Hashem. One resident told a Yavneh student, ‘May you be blessed, and your God as well should be blessed.’” The students understood what an impact they can have when they represent the kindness of the Jewish people to the world.
Student after student commented, “Wow, they look like ‘regular’ people.” “We did not realize that people at the shelter had jobs a few months ago and now could not afford dinner.” “When I thought about homeless people I always thought about the stereotypes. Now I don’t anymore.”
The program’s goal was to have students understand that the homeless are human beings for whom life has not quite turned out the way they planned. They are “just like us.” County Executive Kathleen Donovan was present and congratulated the students on their generosity of spirit. The students left the experience feeling inspired and knowing they made a difference.
